I've been something of an introvert most of my life. I've always considered it a gift and a curse. But I've noticed that as I get older, my thoughts and emotions begin to spread outward from my mental fortifications.
I find myself more willing to share my thoughts with others, and I find it easier to dismiss introspection when I feel like it's getting in the way of a goal or activity.
I can't remember exactly when this started, but I feel like it was a moment of adversity. Something happened to me that forced me to deal with the outside at least as much as what went on behind the thick bone in my skull; and I enjoyed the feeling of success when that had results for me different my usual internal diatribe.
It could have been my first real job. The one I was excited to visit, not some boring wage task. It may have been a particularly painful dental procedure, or an awkward social situation when I was in vocational school. I truly don't remember the epiphany, but it must have happened. There must have been a 'tipping point' when I realized how this worked.
This blog is an attempt to recapture at least part of the intense self criticism and mulling that I always enjoyed in my childhood.
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